Down today

I feel like a failure and a horrible mom and that I should just crawl in a hole and die. Any good mom could make sure there kids will have diapers and clothes but I can't make it work I've never been able to I have no one to turn to my husband is numb to my pain and sorrow. I can't sleep I keep running in my head what can I sell to make sure we have money because chances r I will miss something in the checking count and we will over draft I just wish I had a manual. I know I'm not perfect but I try so hard but I feel like I keep failing, can't even afford to pay the sitter 40 for 2 wks I am the worst mom :( all I want to do us die right now